I heard a joke the other day about new year resolutions and for some reason it made me think about the significance of them.
Personally I’ve never been one to make resolutions at the beginning of the year. Never really gave it much thought. However after some consideration it occurred to me that maybe it is a sign of hope and motivation to make one. I would hope everyone goes into a new year hoping to be a better human being than they were the year before.
So here are my goals, or resolutions, for the new year.
1. Better Grades in College: Last semester was a flop when it came to the grades I earned. This can’t happen again, I need to buckle down. I don’t wanna be a bum the rest of my life.
2. Eliminate Debt: What little debt I have I want to get rid of. It should take me all of about two months to knock this out with my current income. By the end of 2014 I’d like to have set aside $5,000 dollars for an emergency fund as well.
3. Get Into The Best Shape of my Life: Being single now, I need to make sure that when I take off my clothes the girls I am with are impressed. I wanna target my arms, abs, and lats. I want the girls to feel like that are getting rammed by a bull when I fuck them.
4. Have Sex With As Many Woman As Possible: 2014 needs to be the beginning of the greatest reign of debauchery my college campus has ever seen. The more sex the better, I have a long to do (pun intended) list that isn’t nearly as completed as I would like it to be.